GOD IS GOOD!

 I'm clinging on to that right now.

3 weeks ago, a friend's husband died unexpectedly while under anesthesia before the surgery even began. His heart just stopped. It was such a shock. They were in Germany preparing to go to Gambia, West Africa as missionaries. I had prayed for them just 2 months ago as they prepared to leave.

Yesterday I received the news that another friend's husband died unexpectedly due to a work place accident. He fell of a ladder, hit his head on the concrete and passed away. What a shock. What makes it more difficult is that my friend had just conquered stage 4 breast cancer after going through a horrendous year. She was doing great!

Both of these men were young men. My 2nd friend still had 2 little kids at home. My 1st friend's kids are scattered all over. There was no rhyme or reason, no wondering.

How do I respond? How do I begin to process something so shocking, so unbelievable? How do I make sense of it?

I suppose there are lots of reasons we could suggest. There are many theories out there about why good people suffer bad things. These families are good people.

I'm not sure I have any brilliant answers either. However, during my own suffering and crying out whys at the foot of the cross I keep coming back to the end of the book of Job when God spoke to Job. God never answered Job's questions but he did show him who he was.

So I go back to who God is and what I know about God. This becomes my foundation. Here are two things I know and cling to. God is in control and God is good. I pray that becomes the foundation for these two families as they grieve the loss of their husband and father.

DESTROYING LIES

I read the book of Jude for my devotions today. This verse stood out to me so I wrote about it in my journal and thought I would share my thoughts with you.

Jude verse 8: "In the same way these dreamers pollute their own bodies, reject authority and slander celestial beings." (NIV 2011)

It seems ironic that I spend time on the outside of my body like showering, hair, and facial moisturizer. Yet not so much on the inside; what I eat or doing exercise for example. Another irony is that I take all these medications and supplements to promote health. Yet I still struggle to use food or exercise to promote health. I am getting better at the food part but not so much the exercise part.

It's easy to slip into self-flagellation and condemnation. That does not ensure a positive move forward though. It leads me to crawl under a rock and beat myself up some more thinking "I'm not worth anything else". That's not the truth either.

Beating myself up leaves me on the couch, giving up before I stand. It leads to "who cares' and "why not eat that scone". I'm so good at beating myself up I do it without a thought. It's second nature to me.

I'm beginning to see that the way forward is to be my own best cheerleader. To briefly acknowledge the failures but to focus on the victories! That might be the key to getting up again.

I grew up in a denomination that sang a song when I was a kid that had a line something like this talking about Jesus dying "for such a worm as I". Circumstances conspired to make me believe even more that I was a worm. (I'm happy to say that while we still acknowledge our sins, we also are very big on celebrating God's grace to us. Plus that line has been changed in our new hymnal.)

I've come along way getting out of that mentality and belief but I still struggle with it. It's more subtle and harder to detect now. Changing this old view of myself is like trying to remove lies from my DNA and replace them with God's truth and love. Yet isn't that why Jesus came? To make us new creatures in Christ?

Oh how I need God's grace and love in every aspect of how I treat my body and how I live. How I need God's Word, the Holy Bible, to tell me the truth about myself.

What lies are you to trying to replace with God's truth?

P.S. I'm finally celebrating my 50 lb weight loss with some girlfriends by getting a manicure/pedicure. I can't wait.