I read the book of Jude for my devotions today. This verse stood out to me so I wrote about it in my journal and thought I would share my thoughts with you.
Jude verse 8: "In the same way these dreamers pollute their own bodies, reject authority and slander celestial beings." (NIV 2011)
It seems ironic that I spend time on the outside of my body like showering, hair, and facial moisturizer. Yet not so much on the inside; what I eat or doing exercise for example. Another irony is that I take all these medications and supplements to promote health. Yet I still struggle to use food or exercise to promote health. I am getting better at the food part but not so much the exercise part.
It's easy to slip into self-flagellation and condemnation. That does not ensure a positive move forward though. It leads me to crawl under a rock and beat myself up some more thinking "I'm not worth anything else". That's not the truth either.
Beating myself up leaves me on the couch, giving up before I stand. It leads to "who cares' and "why not eat that scone". I'm so good at beating myself up I do it without a thought. It's second nature to me.
I'm beginning to see that the way forward is to be my own best cheerleader. To briefly acknowledge the failures but to focus on the victories! That might be the key to getting up again.
I grew up in a denomination that sang a song when I was a kid that had a line something like this talking about Jesus dying "for such a worm as I". Circumstances conspired to make me believe even more that I was a worm. (I'm happy to say that while we still acknowledge our sins, we also are very big on celebrating God's grace to us. Plus that line has been changed in our new hymnal.)
I've come along way getting out of that mentality and belief but I still struggle with it. It's more subtle and harder to detect now. Changing this old view of myself is like trying to remove lies from my DNA and replace them with God's truth and love. Yet isn't that why Jesus came? To make us new creatures in Christ?
Oh how I need God's grace and love in every aspect of how I treat my body and how I live. How I need God's Word, the Holy Bible, to tell me the truth about myself.
What lies are you to trying to replace with God's truth?
P.S. I'm finally celebrating my 50 lb weight loss with some girlfriends by getting a manicure/pedicure. I can't wait.
I just gave a big list of these lies over to God last night as I prayed because I am so tired of beating myself up! So tired of blocking his blessings because I refuse to RECEIVE his love and his mercy. That is the word he gave me. He told me I have it but I don't receive it. I felt so sad! I asked Him right then and there to help me break whatever I put in front of Him and let Him back in.
ReplyDeleteBlogger is making it harder to type comments for some reason! Anyway...I couldn't finish my last comment. Thank you for sharing. I wish we were in a Bible study together!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the weight loss my friend!! Yippee for friends to celebrate with! And, yes....lies...how often we think them and act on them and live like they are truth. May the Lord continually fill our minds with His Truth and help us to recognise it when we are beating ourselves up with lies. I think you have done a terrific job with your recent weight loss...hang in there! It really is one step at a time. Hugs, Camille
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