Thanksgiving - for MS

Monday was Thanksgiving Day.  A special day for thanking God for all His blessings. As I've been reflecting on the blessings I am thankful for, I've been reminded of the day I realized I am thankful for MS. 

That wasn't always the case. Shortly after being diagnosed I had to stop working. My life had felt full and rich doing the things that God had called me to. Then over the course of 3 short months, my world was reduced to my couch.

I didn't understand. Wasn't I doing what God wanted? How could He then strip it away? For me, my purpose and sense of fulfillment was found in what I did, especially what I did for others. My work was also my ministry. Being "useful" to others was what gave my life meaning.

Slowly I began to realize that I had made work and a sense of purpose an idol. I had put my trust and sense of being in what I did, not who I was. This wasn't a new struggle. I'd wrestled with "being" versus "doing" many times.

Over time, I began to accept at a deeper level that my worth to God was not in what I did but who I was. It did not matter to Him if I spent most of my day on the couch or in bed resting. What matter to God was my heart of worship for Him. If God wanted me on the couch so I could focus on Him, then that was what He wanted me to be doing. 

As I began to recover from that major relapse, I was able to start reading more. I read, not just my Bible, but other books. Books about thanksgiving and prayer. I began to hear God's whisper of a new calling, a calling to prayer. It began with the realization that while I couldn't do much activity, I could pray. I quietly began praying for others. I felt honoured to walk alongside others as I prayed for them. 

God spoke to me through others. One dear friend gave me the Willow Tree Angel of Prayer. Another friend quoted Ephesians 2:10; "For we are Christ's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (italics mine) Did you catch it? I've read this verse many times, even memorized it. Yet this time I saw it. God prepared the work I would do in advance. God knew I would be diagnosed with MS. He knew what my limitations would be. This was not a surprise to Him.

I began to recognize that I was connecting and ministering to people I would never have had the chance to do before. By praying, I was blessing others through God. My heart began to sing as I realized that God was doing something new in my life. My relationship with Him had changed. My relationship with others had changed. There was much to be thankful for.

That's when it happened. When I realized that I could give thanks for my MS too. It was because I wasn't working, because I couldn't do all the things I wanted to and needed to rest, that these beautiful blessings had come into my life. Even now, as I write, thanksgiving and joy fill my heart. 

Yes, I am thankful for having MS.